is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
