So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
