I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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