I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
