I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
