So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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