He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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