Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize