loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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