dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
