upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
