I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
