when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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