he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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