gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
