If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I haven't been this sober since birth.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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