Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We have started to decorate penises.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
