That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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