dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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