i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
