It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
