haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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