I could have mohawked her pubes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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