I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
