I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
