Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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