I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
