idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
