ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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