brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want her autograph on my taint
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
