So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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