we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
