C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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