She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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