I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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