there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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