kristin has been a bad kristin
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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