I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize