Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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