Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
