i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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