she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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