you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
