I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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