He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
