The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
