Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As shirtless as possible
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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