You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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