Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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