Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
