Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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