so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
