My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
