having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
