Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
