My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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