At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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