I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
