Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
