my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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