Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
