Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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